The Iceberg Theory
Gerald Locklin This is an excerpt presented under fair use for educational purposes. Read the full text here.
all the food critics hate iceberg lettuce. you’d think romaine was descended from orpheus’s laurel wreath, you’d think raw spinach had all the nutritional benefits attributed to it by popeye, not to mention aesthetic subtleties worthy of verlaine and debussy. they’ll even salivate over chopped red cabbage just to disparage poor old mr. iceberg lettuce. I guess the problem is it’s just too common for them. it doesn’t matter that it tastes good, has a satisfying crunchy texture, holds its freshness, and has crevices for the dressing,
[Excerpt continues with full poem text available at external link]
Publication Note: This poem first appeared in Good Poems, selected and introduced by Garrison Keillor (Penguin Books, 2002). It was also published in the Little Red Book series #18.
Full Text: Read the complete poem at Silver Birch Press or The Writer’s Almanac archive.
Curator's Note
Locklin's defense of iceberg lettuce becomes a brilliant metaphor for his entire poetic philosophy. Just as food critics dismiss the humble iceberg for fancier greens, literary critics praise obscure contemporary poetry while ignoring accessible work that actually gives readers pleasure. The poem's conversational tone and casual profanity ('bores the shit out of me') perfectly embody its argument: the best art doesn't require pretense or explanation. It's deliciously ironic that a poem about preferring simple pleasures is itself so carefully crafted—the extended metaphor never strains, the line breaks feel natural, and the conclusion lands with quiet authority. This is Locklin at his best: using plain language to skewer pretension while creating something genuinely artful.
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